#SelfTalk I am Nothing But Trouble For My Self

Living with HIV will never easy for everyone. including my self. when I write this page, I also thinking, what people response after they read this. oh, now they finally know, that Ayu is woman who are living with HIV. are they gonna mad, are they gonna make a distance them self from me, well, I will never know. But until now, I will always tell the truth. I will try to tell the real situation, if its needed. 

Why people still discriminate people living with HIV. i don't know the answer. you can ask your self while you read my blog. Are you hate us? Are we disguisting? Are we a sinner? well, none of that statement is the real answer. the answer is only two. first is you don't have those important information about HIV and AIDS, how it can affects you, how you can protect your self, how you can still alive even there is HIV virus in your blood. and the other answer is, ignorance. most people know the information. now people can easily access so many information from so many source. its very easy to reach the internet rather than a clear water. most people will spend a lot of money just to buy a smart phone or gadget for their life basic needs. but what happen is, when they read the information, they ignore, its none of my business, they said. I'm not living with HIV, you are living with. so why am i supposed to know those information. or why i should respect on you. that s now human. sad, but true.

I said before that I am nothing but trouble for my self. i have done so many mistake in my life. but I realize it was a mistake, and I should fix that. because i have family, I have daughter, i have my life, i have future, i have society, i have this beautiful life that God has given to me. so why I should worry if I am living with HIV? why I should worry about what people said to me? Why I should worry if no ones want to talk with me because I am living with HIV. I said whatever, I still have my life. I have beautiful daughter and family that support me that much when no one give me space in this world. so i decide to change my mind, I am everything to love. I am the person who trying as best as I can, to do good, to be good.