Married and have a happy family is my purpose of
life. Like a fairy tale, being a princess with a handsome prince in our little
castle. But it suddenly disappear, when my husband sick at 2009. And at that
year, we all knew that we have HIV in our family circle. And the dream that I
build before, change into a day full of hospital and medicine that we have to
through in it.
Three years after, a long road we can passed it
by. Me and my daughter can survive well until now, even without husband that
already passed away in 2009. The Anti retroviral therapy that we use every day
has increase immunity in my body. Wish the virus sleep well in my body and not ruin
my life again. I keep walking without
giving up, to keep healthy and happy. Even I have HIV in me, it doesn’t make me
give up, I keep working and life. Even there still many stigma and
discrimination, I don’t care, I just keep moving.. keep walking, keep
breathing..
80% people around know
me as people living with HIV now. All people like parents, neighbor, friends
and colleague. Sometimes people can see me in many media when I share about
HIV, giving education to high school student and community. This is my new
passion, to share this kind of information, share right information correctly,
not just a myth that will bring wrong information, makes HIV more scary to
people.
It’s not easy for me at the beginning, stand in
front, speak loud and show to people that “Yes, I’m HIV.. than what?” I’m not trying to find sympathy or I’m not
trying to make people afraid with me. I just want Indonesian wanna listen to
me, that the message that I share its clearly important. About sexual reproductive health and right,
that student never get in school. About drugs addiction that people always
ignored the information. Many people think, all that kind of information isn’t important,
that this information only for marginal people. And I said no! this whole
information should deliver to all. So there’s no more people trap in wrong
information, don’t know how to protect them self. Because for me it’s ok to
talk about use full information, even with your parents or teacher.
And now, close to December, many people start
talking about HIV AIDS, many people show that they care and take responsible of
this issue. All this activity, campaign, talk show getting loud in my ears. Why
Just in December? As people living with HIV, I’m confuse, why this big moment. I
see many people suddenly Concerned with HIV,
and also people who often take advantage
of this event just to make a profit for their own.
For me
this moment should hit us all. There is almost 250.000 Indonesian people
infected by HIV and including woman and child. There is also 3.892 new
infection on HIV until this June 2012 in Indonesia. This thing should make you
shame, as a human and Indonesian. Why you talk loudly about HIV only in the
world AIDS day, than you forget about it after that?
Let me ask a question. Why still taboo for
parents to talk about sexual reproductive health and right in home? So they
will find the information by them self. Probably they will get wrong information
outside.. why student drop off from school just because they get raped, they
are victim, why people think the student will give bad impact to others, they don’t
even get the sexual information directly from school. And people still stigmatize
people living with HIV, they refuse us.. but when December comes people will
celebrate the AIDS world day moment. Confusing.
Lets holding on together, together we mirroring
our self, talk to yourself.. what’s wrong? Who take responsible for this
situation. What we should do to fix this? The answer is yourself. Come and see that many
children and family become victims of people who don’t want
to learn to understand that HIV AIDS
isn’t about moral or behavior things. HIV is a Big Impact, and we should take
this lead together.
I invite all of my friends and all
who read my writing for care about
this issue not only in big Moment like world AIDS day, not just in December. Let’s
talk about this everyday if you tell me that you care about it. We have a lot
of work to do, need lot of effort to make change or fix problem but together, I’m
sure we can do it.
If I can reflect my self in this moment, moment that people celebrate as
world AIDS day.. I want all people living with HIV get Comprehensive
health access without stigma and discrimination, get a same chance to work and
education. That women living with HIV have their own right, to married, have a
child and well PMTCT access. At the end, being don’t know or stupid is not
wrong, but how we start to talk with yourself, learn and find the right
information, share it to others. We can start it!
Follow me @ayuma_morie,
lets talk about HIV AIDS and things around.. without afraid or worry..
Picture from Google and www.whatifitwereyou.org